"The Story Of How I Became A Moonist" is a story written by David Andersson and narrated by Moon Man, even though it is told from David Andersson's perspective. It appears as an interlude on Singles: Volume 5.
This is the story of how I became a Moonist. Sit down, relax, and enjoy.
This all happened when I was six years old. I was walking my way home, at a late Friday night. It was a quiet and calm night. But then suddenly, Haseeb2's army of niggers came up to me, and they picked up their chickenwings from their big afro hair. They said, "Ooga booga, give money. Ooga booga worship volcano god."
I responded, "No, I can't. Please leave me alone."
They became more and more crazier and started to jump around like monkeys. "Ooga booga you racist. Let's kill him," they said.
As they were about to kill me with their chickenwings, I looked at the bright Moon and said, "Please help me."
While I was praying and begging for help, one of the niggers hit me in the head, so I fall down on my back. The other niggers walked closer to me, preparing to sacrifice me to volcano god. I saw someone flying down from the Moon behind them. It was Moon Man. The Almighty Moon came down to rescue me. When he landed, all the niggers backed away from me. Moon Man looked at me with his Moonistic eyes and said, "It's all okay, little Moon. Moon Man is here," and then he picks up a katana from his pocket and began slaying all the niggers to half. It was done in seconds.
After he killed the niggers, he then flew to the Moon again. I was so happy that Moon Man saved me. If he didn't, I wouldn't be here today. Thank you Moon Man.
This is how I knew Moon Man was real. It's amazing to watch those disgusting niggers get killed like that. Moon Man watches you and protects you, all the time. Never underestimate the Moon.
So that's how I became a Moonist. How did you become a Moonist? Tell me your story.